7 навыков высокоэффективных людей — Стивен Кови on Windows Pc

All these problems are profound and painful. With the attack they can not be solved.
A couple of years ago my wife Sandra and I encountered a similar problem. One of our sons did not get along with the school. He was chronically lagging behind; did not even understand the conditions of the problem, let alone the solution. Socially, he was immature, always shy to talk even with loved ones. He was physically weak, short, frail, with poorly coordinated movements, for example, he flapped a baseball bat before the ball was in the air. Caused the ridicule of others.
Sandra and I were filled with the desire to help the boy. We felt that the achievement of success, important in any sphere of life, acquires special significance in the fulfillment of our parental role. Therefore, we began to work on our attitudes and behavior towards him, while also trying to influence his behavior. We sought to recharge it psychologically, using the technique of positive thinking:
- Come on, son! You can do that! We know that you can! Take the bat a little higher and look at the ball. Do not wave until he flies closer.
And if the son got a little better, we that there were forces encouraged him:
- Well done, son, keep it up!
If someone laughed at him, we attacked the mocker:
- Leave him alone! Do not bother! He's just learning!
At the same time, our son burst into tears and shouted that he would never succeed and that he could not stand this baseball.
No matter how hard we tried, our efforts did not lead to anything. And we saw how painful this affects the child's pride. We tried to encourage him, help him, inspire confidence in him, but after repeated fiasco we decided to look at the whole situation from a different angle.
At that time, I did a lot of work to "develop leadership" with various clients throughout the country. In particular, I had to prepare every two months presentations on the topic of communication and perception for participants in the development program of administrative staff of IBM.
Carrying out the necessary research and preparing the relevant materials, I was extremely interested in how perception is formed, how it influences our views and how our views influence our behavior. This led me to study the theory of probability and self-fulfilling predictions, or the "Pygmalion effect," and also to the realization of how deeply rooted in us is our perception. I realized that we should look carefully not only at the world around us, but also at the "prism" through which we look, and that this "prism" itself determines our perception of the world.
Talking with Sandra about the concepts that I taught IBM employees, we gradually realized that everything we tried to help our son did not harmonize with how we actually perceived it, saw it. When we honestly confessed our deep feelings, we realized that in reality at heart we perceived our son as a "backward" child with inadequate development. Therefore, no matter how hard we work on our attitudes and behavior, no matter what we do and whatsoever we say, our actions remained ineffective, as he invariably read in them: "You are not capable of this." You need help. "

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